The Butt Murderer
"Who wants to hear a campfire story!" said Kyle as he turned to his friends. "I do!" said Jimbo in a muffled tone as he ate his usual bucket of chicken, (Jimbo is never seen without a bucket of chicken, he has one everywhere he goes, even in school, it is still unknown how he obtains them) Kyle takes out his book, which was completely blank, he scrolled through the pages trying to make it seem the book had paper in it, "alright! this story is called, 'the legend of the Dick Murderer!' here goes nothing!" "oh boy! hopefully it makes more sense then your other stories" Maryann said preparing herself as she sat next to Kyle. Everyone laughed as Kyle read the story. "It all started when a man was murdered by a madman whilst sitting on the toilet, it is assumed that this madman took his dick and that he haunts this town, and if you sit on the toilet at night he will stab your dick and that dick will become one of his many dick servants who aid him on his never-ending quest for butts. He however can be deterred by cleaning the toilets, but no public place bothers to do so, mainly because of the smart cookies who obey the 'toilet rule' which states that the butt murderer will go away if the toilet is too dirty, which only attracts him more, the end. Maryann vomited all over Kyle's clothing and Jimbo burst out laughing, spilling his chicken everywhere. "That's the most disgusting story I ever heard!" Maryann said as she wiped herself. As they sat there in dead silence, they heard a scream coming from the port-a-potty by the campsite as they heard old men laughing and crunching sounds. Jimbo said "let's be stupid horror movie characters and go to the sound!" in a sarcastic tone. "yeah let's go! maybe we can donate your butt to the butt murderer!" Kyle said. They all started walking down the path, and stopped at the port-a-potty which had blood and poop stains around it. They found a man, covered in a mix of feces and blood with his entire rear end missing. He was moaning saying "h-help me!" Kyle said "what happened?!" the man said "he-he got me, my butt is gone, and worst of all, I just ate a lot of taco bell and now my Colon is gonna explode if I can't poop!" Maryann caught up and instantly vomited all over the man. They then heard the laughing of the same old men, and they heard something that they never heard ever, Jimbo dropped his bucket of chicken, something that never happened in ages. He dropped to the floor, they saw a huge bite mark around his rear. "The Butt Murderer got him!" Kyle screamed. Maryann fainted on the spot, Kyle ran away, abandoning both the man and Maryann, and saw a truck by the roadside, he punched the window and carjacked the truck, despite the bike he had right next to the truck, but like most horror characters, he was in "too much of a panic" to use common sense, he took the truck and drove it through the port-a-potty, and just managed to not run over anyone, he took everyone and stuffed them in the back of truck and drove into the hospital in no time at all because plot convenience, he gave them an appointment and waited for the doctor. Who came out saying "Well, we read your file, and your friends are fine and are expected to recover, but unfortunately, you're under arrest for theft and destruction of property" the end Category:Troll pasta Category:Serial Killers (Not Jeff) Category:Creepypasta spinoff Category:BCP Category:Pastas